I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
