So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
