day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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