it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
