Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
