Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
