He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize