it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
