It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize