good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
