Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
