I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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