what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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