Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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