Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
