I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
