He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
