she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
