i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
