found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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