So drunk, too bad you don't want this
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
