During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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