I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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