I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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