So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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