what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
