This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
