Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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