So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize