If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
