Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
