I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
