I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
