I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
