i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
