I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
love makes seman taste better
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
