He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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