i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize