windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
