i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
