Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize