No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
