hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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