I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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