i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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