What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
