just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
