What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize