Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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