Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
