my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
