No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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