Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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