dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he just fucked me for my cheese..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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