so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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