My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
