Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
