She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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