would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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