did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
