tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
