Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
