I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
