This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
