i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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