I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
