YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
