i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
