hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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