Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
